The Price of Pleasing Others

Have you filled out your prescription? Not the one the doctor ordered, no. The one that has been provided to you by Culture…

Have you filled out your prescription?

Not the one the doctor ordered, no. I am talking about the life that has been prescribed to you by your family and the culture. If you are reading this you have most likely filled out at least some part if not all. Because that is just what people do.

People helplessly and blindly live in an automatic state. The automation is controlled by the program prescribed to them even before they were born. And stopping intentionally is never a part of the prescription. You never get to stop and question why you are doing what you are doing — and really answer it. And if you happen to stop accidentally, you will start to feel extremely uncomfortable, because for the first time you will start realizing that you have no freedom. And then you may act out some random program to pretend to have freedom but that’s just about all you can taste in the moment — a pretentious freedom. And most will be satisfied by that.

People will have, family, children, careers, etc just to please their parents, family, cultural expectations. All to receive that invisible yet highly addictive drug — validation.

Some may not even receive it, they are trying to please someone who is eternally disappointed. Their drug is to keep chasing the carrot, they will never win. But validation can only feed insecurity, and insecurity is a bottomless pit which is why you have to keep going non-stop.

Pleasing others is tantamount to slow suicide. Yes, as crazy as that statement sounds, that is the price of pleasing others — you, your life. Every time you do something to please others you betray yourself, your essence. A part of you dies every time you sacrifice your desires and your passion just to keep others happy.

Why not please yourself? Because that is the greatest cultural taboo for many. Cultures are designed around serving the greater good most often at the expense of your individuality. But this greater good is highly questionable. Until you take the time to do so — question it, you will be stuck filling out the prescription.

The Study of Self is a method for discovering the prescriptions you are filling out and to start understanding why you live the way you do. When you figure this out you finally have a chance to really decide whether or not you want to continue. Until then you are just bound to endlessly fill out your prescription or it’s the opposite. Yes, rebellion is not freedom. You are just reacting. You are still not doing what you want.

Rebellion is not doing what others want you to do. Or doing what others don’t want you to do.

Many people don’t realize that what they want is what they have been told to want. They have no connection to their authentic desires. And some may scratch the surface and go a level deeper and believe they found what they really want, though unfortunately our authentic self is buried under many layers of heavy prescriptions that take time and effort to uncover.

Just know that it is entirely possible to discover and connect with the authentic self, and the journey can be a fun adventure with the proper guidance and support.

I share my own journey of discovering my prescription and living in authenticity on the reinvention roadmap podcast:

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With love, Ti0

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